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How to Build Trust in a Relationship

Khushboo Motihar
09 Jul 2022

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It is what allows us to feel safe and comfortable sharing our thoughts and feelings with another person. When trust is absent, relationships become fragile or difficult and may even come to an end.  

So how do we build trust in a relationship? In this blog post, we will discuss some of the most important ways to establish trust in your relationship. 

What Does Trust Look Like in a Relationship?

A relationship that is built on the foundation of trust is one in which both partners feel safe to be open and honest with each other. There is a mutual respect for each other's feelings and needs, and both partners are committed to meeting those needs. Each person feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and they know that their partner will listen without judgment. They also know that they can rely on their partner to follow through on their promises. Trust creates a sense of safety and security in a relationship. 

How Long Does It Take To Build Trust?

The time required to build trust depends on the relationship, the level of trust that already exists, and how willing both partners are to work on building trust.  

Dr John Mordecai Gottman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and an American psychologist, believes that “sliding door" moments are important to build trust in a relationship. Sliding door moments are choices we make every day that show our partner we are reliable and trustworthy.  

Trust is built slowly over time and Dr Gottman believes that basis of trust is the idea of attunement i.e.

  • Awareness
  • Turning toward
  • Tolerance
  • Understanding
  • Non-defensive responding
  • Empathy

Five Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

There are many things you can do to build trust in your relationship. Here are five of the most important: 

1. Always Communicate

Open lines of communication are important in any relationship. Establishing a safe space to share thoughts and feelings will help to build trust between partners. When both partners are able to voice their concerns or needs, it creates a sense of safety and mutual respect. Communication also helps prevent misunderstanding.  

2. Don't Keep Secrets

One of the quickest ways to destroy trust is to keep secrets from each other. A study reveals that over 25% of individuals have been caught cheating as a result of technology. If you're hiding something from your partner, it will only create suspicion and mistrust. 

3. Set Boundaries

A study has revealed that seven out of ten individuals look into their partner’s phones when the partner is not in the room. It's important to set boundaries in a relationship so that both partners feel more comfortable and safe with each other. When you know what to expect from each other, it's easier to trust each other. 

4. Take Responsibility For Your Actions

One of the best ways to build trust is to take responsibility for your actions. This means being honest about your mistakes and admitting when you're wrong. If you can do this, it will show your partner that you're trustworthy. Being open and vulnerable with each other is another great way to build trust. This means sharing your thoughts and feelings, even if they're difficult to share. It takes courage to be vulnerable, but it's a key part of trust. 

5. Be Respectful

This entails listening to each other, being open to hearing each other's point of view, and valuing each other's opinions. It also means refraining from judgment and criticism. Respect is one of the most important foundations of trust. Respecting each other's autonomy, privacy, and need for space goes a long way in building trust.  

A relationship where both partners trust each other is built on a strong foundation. It's important to remember that trust is not something that can be forced or created overnight, It takes time, patience, and effort. But if you're both committed to building trust, it's definitely possible.

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