Managing Your Emotions
Emotions are a vital part of who we are as human beings. They provide us with energy, direction and motivation in our lives. However, when emotions are out of balance, they can lead to problems. Emotions are created by your thoughts and they can be influenced by your environment and the people around you. They are also affected by your physiology, which is why you may often feel physical symptoms when you are emotional. Studies have proven social and emotional abilities are considered more important than IQ to determine professional success.
A longitudinal study revealed IQ had little relation to life success. Significant predictors of success included the ability to handle frustration, learning to control emotions and getting along with other people.
Types of Emotions
Paul Eckman, a psychologist and professor at the University of California, San Francisco identified six basic emotions which are universally experienced by all human beings: anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness and surprise. Each emotion has its own set of characteristics which can be helpful to understand. For example, anger is often associated with feelings of frustration, while fear is often accompanied by feelings of anxiety. Later this list was expanded to include pride, shame, embarrassment and excitement.
8 Tips to Master Your Emotions
Your emotions are ever-changing and it's normal to feel a wide range of them over the course of time. But if you find your emotions are impacting your day-to-day life in a negative way, it may be time to get some help.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution to managing your emotions, but some general principles can help. Here are eight laws of emotional mastery:
1. Awareness is Key
The first step to managing your emotions is becoming aware of them. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it's actually harder than it sounds. Your emotions are often subconscious and you may not even realize you are feeling them until they have already taken over.
Start paying attention to your emotions throughout the day. Notice when you feel happy, sad, anxious, angry or any other emotion. Don't judge your emotions, just notice them.
2. Acceptance is Essential
The next step is to accept your emotions. This doesn't mean you have to like them, but it does mean you need to acknowledge their existence. Trying to push your emotions down or ignore them will only make them stronger.
Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions. Sit with them for a while and explore them. What do they feel like? What are their triggers? Why do you think you are feeling them?
3. Release What no Longer Serves You
Once you have become aware of and accepted your emotions, you can start to release them. This may mean letting go of some negative emotions which are no longer serving you. It can be helpful to journal your emotions or talk to a therapist about them. You may also want to try some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation. Some interesting ways to release emotions include:
- Writing a letter to your emotion, then burning it
- Visualizing your emotion as a cloud that dissipates into the sky
- Tearing up a picture representing your emotion
- Replace negative emotions with positive ones.
4. Create Space for New Emotions
Finally, you need to create space for new emotions. This means making room in your life for positive emotions, such as happiness, joy and love. One way to do this is to focus on gratitude. Every day, take some time to think about things you are grateful for. This could be anything from your comfortable home to a friend or family member. A gratitude journal is a great way to track your thoughts.
5. Create a Positive Emotional Environment
Finally, you can start to create a positive emotional environment for yourself. This may include things like spending time with supportive people, doing things you enjoy and practicing self-care. Another important part of this is setting boundaries with people and situations which are not supportive.
6. Take Some Time for Yourself
Emotional mastery requires a lot of self-awareness and introspection. If you are constantly on the go, it'll be difficult to check in with yourself and see how you are really feeling. Make sure to schedule some "me time" into your week where you can just relax and be alone with your thoughts.
7. Be Patient With Yourself
Learning how to master your emotions takes time. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately. Being patient with yourself and practicing these principles on a regular basis will eventually lead to better emotional regulation. In the long run, you will be happier and more balanced as a result.
8. Seek Professional Help
If you find you are struggling to manage your emotions, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand your emotions and develop healthy coping strategies. There are different nuances to emotional mastery and professional help can be very valuable.
These eight laws are key to emotional mastery but they are not the only things you need to know. For more in-depth advice, seek professional help or read one of the many books on the subject. Emotional mastery is a lifelong journey, but it's one that is well worth taking.
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