Don't let anyone gaslight you!
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who seemed to turn your reality upside down? Or felt like your opinions and values were invalidated? Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone uses subtle tactics to make another person question their own perceptions and beliefs. For example, maybe your partner tells you you are being paranoid when you question their strange behavior. Or maybe your boss says you are overreacting when you voice your concerns about being treated unfairly. A study has shown 74% of female victims of domestic violence have also experienced gaslighting. Despite this 75% of adults don’t know what gaslighting really is.
If you are in a relationship with a gaslighter, it can be incredibly difficult to break free. They will often make you doubt yourself and your instincts, which can leave you feeling confused, frustrated and even crazy. No matter what form it takes, being gaslighted can be a deeply disempowering experience. It erodes your self-esteem and can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. So if you are ready to put an end to being made to feel bad, here are eight strategies which can help.
1. Identify the Early Warning Signs
The first step in dealing with a gaslighter is to identify their behavior. Look for signs such as your partner belittling your feelings, invalidating your opinions or using punitive tactics to control you. Some of the things they may do are:
- Telling you your feelings are wrong or irrelevant
- Making dismissive comments about your thoughts and opinions
- Interrupting you when you speak
- Blatantly lying or denying things that have happened
- Making you think you “imagined it all”
2. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Second-guessing yourself is a common side effect of gaslighting, but don’t let it control you. It's normal to feel confused, frustrated and even crazy when you are being gaslighted. But it's important to remember your feelings are valid. Look at the evidence and facts to keep you grounded.
3. Speak Up for Yourself
It can be easy to let a gaslighter walk all over you, but it's important to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. This might mean saying something like, "I don't appreciate being called paranoid when I express my concerns." Or "I'm not going to just let this go - I want to talk about it." If the gaslighter tries to invalidate your feelings or refuses to address the issue, it might be time to walk away.
4. Keep a Record
Whenever possible, it's helpful to keep a record of what's happening. This could be a journal where you write down incidents as they happen. Or maybe you keep texts or email exchanges as evidence.
5. Find Support from Others
When you are in a relationship with a gaslighter, it's easy to feel isolated and alone. But it's important to reach out to others for support - whether that's friends, family members or even a therapist. They can provide much-needed clarity and perspective during difficult times.
6. Trust Your Gut
Your intuition is there for a reason - so trust it! If something feels off or doesn't seem right, chances are there's a good reason for that. Pay attention to those red flags and warning signs; they could be trying to tell you something important.
7. Walk Away
Oftentimes, the best way to deal with a gaslighter is simply by walking away from them - both figuratively and literally. If someone is making you doubt yourself or your reality on a regular basis, chances are they are not good for you - no matter how much you care about them or want things to work out. The most important thing is taking care of yourself and protecting your mental health above all else.
8. Get Help
Gaslighting can be a deeply disempowering and damaging experience. If you’re dealing with a gaslighter, it’s important to get help. Consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group; they can provide you with a fresh perspective and embolden you to stand up for yourself.
Dealing with a gaslighter can be incredibly difficult - but it's not impossible. By acknowledging your feelings, learning to be assertive, sticking to evidence and making sure you have a support system - you can put an end to the gaslighting and take control of your life.
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